HF - HOR
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The Hidden [1987] The Hidden II [1993] The Hidden Room [1949]
Hide in the Light [2018] High Crimes [2002] The Hills Have Eyes [1977]
The Hills Have Eyes [2006] The Hills Have Eyes II [2007] The Hills Have Eyes Part II [1984]
A History of Violence [2005]
Hit Man [2023] The Hitcher [1986] The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting [2003]
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [2005] Hitman [2007] Hitman: Agent 47 [2015]
The Hitman's Bodyguard [2017] Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard [2021] The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey [2012]
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies [2014] The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [2013] The Hole in the Ground [2019]
Holidays [2016] Homefront [2013] Honeymoon [2014]
The Horde [2009] The Horde [2012] The Horde [2016]
Horns [2013] The Horror Crowd [2020] Horror Planet [1981]
Hit Man [2023]

            

While busting people for trying to hire a hit man, an undercover teacher falls for a client. This was a strange one. Overall, it's a fine, easy to watch, laid back film with likable characters but it's hard to classify it. It's far too light in nature to be taken seriously and yet, it's not funny enough to be a comedy. Basically a romcom with no suspense, thrills, or lol moments making it rather flat and then topping it off with a dark, morally questionable ending. With no emotional investment, I realized afterwards, I really didn't care what happened to anyone. A generally enjoyable dud.
The Hitcher [1986]

            

A young man driving through the desert picks up a hitchhiker, who proceeds to destroy his life leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. Been 3 decades since I've seen this and it's still a top thriller from the 80's. Getting started right off, the unrelenting pace rarely lets the viewer take a breath as the tension and chaos escalates. A very young C. Thomas Howell did ok as the protagonist despite moments where his lack of acting chops was painfully evident. But Rutger Hauer is terrifying as a man who cares nothing about anything or anyone, including himself.
The Horror Crowd [2020]

         
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If you're looking for a documentary that highlights horror films, I would suggest In Search of Darkness as this is not that. What it is is casual conversations with people in the horror film community; how they got started, got their ideas, dealing with family, dealing with studios, etc. There are no really big names here - in fact, you probably won't know many of them - but that's OK as we get to meet the behind-the-scenes individuals who have brought us horror fanatics considerable hours of terrifying good times. Fun personalities, passionate about their art.
The Hitman's Bodyguard [2017]

            

A security specialist, who lost his AAA rating when a client was killed, is roped into escorting an assassin to The Hague as a witness to genocide ...and what a long, amusing trip it is. Reminiscent of Planes, Trains & Automobiles in its presentation, the mismatch of these two unlikely characters is an extremely good one for the film. The personality clash and nearly endless banter between our protagonists is well written (albeit a little long winded and unnecessarily profane at times) made them a delight to watch. Awesome action as well. Fun and exciting entertainment.
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard [2021]

            

Salma Hayek seeks out the help of disgraced bodyguard, Ryan Reynolds, to save her husband, Samuel L. Jackson, from kidnappers and they end up trying to save Europe. The action and plot points are far fetched and unrealistic at times but that's OK because it's solidly a comedy and, my goodness, it's funny! Although, like the first film, they do use too much profanity, my wife and I were rolling with laughter. The banter and interaction between the three of them is priceless and the addition of Hayek and Antonio Banderas as the villain was genius. Good LOL Entertainment!
The Hidden [1987]

        
  
An FBI agent enlists the help of a local detective to help track down an alien that likes to jump from one living host to another while driving Ferraris, listening to metal, robbing banks and killing people ...because it's fun! Grabbing you with both hands right from the opening scene, this tightly written and constructed tour de force takes you on a high-octane journey you're not likely to forget. Yet, it manages to develop deep, realistic, intelligent characters who behave honestly and logically and just enough sardonic humor to make this a great film. Watch it!
The Hole in the Ground [2019]

         

After her child wanders into the woods, where she finds a massive hole in the ground, a mother becomes increasingly convinced there's something wrong with the boy ...or, is it really her boy at all? The situation certainly created a lot of tense and creepy moments, some of which played out differently than I would have logically thought, but nothing outstanding. The climax was pretty much what I expected although far more over-the-top making it more weird than frightening. Some will really like this one. I found it mildly entertaining.
The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting [2003]

            

I consider The Hitcher one of the best thrillers of the 80's: A kid driving to San Diego is terrorized by a psycho hitchhiker in west Texas. 15 years later, our survivor and his girlfriend are in the same area and become terrorized by a different psycho. Yeah, pretty ludicrous but, be that as it may, this movie basically plays out the same scenario as the first without as much intensity. Jake Busey did a great job as the psycho but he ain't Runger Hauer. Still, I generally enjoyed it.
Hide in the Light [2018]

      
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A bunch of urban explorers enter an old orphanage that's been abandoned for 60 years ...or so they thought. Take your logic, fold it up neatly and stick it in your back pocket as it really has no place here. That being said, I found this film to be rather fun. It's obviously made by amateur filmmakers but it's rather well done and certainly far better than many I've seen. As mentioned, lots of logic problems - like a 60 year old tape player and generator still working - but the girl's creepy, the demon's a badass and the pacing was great.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [2005]

            

Arthur Dent's house is about to be demolished. Little does he know the whole Earth is about to be demolished. I was a big fan of the book, which I thought was hilarious. The movie, however, came off as kind of dry. Apparently I developed a much funnier movie in my head than they made for the screen. My favorite character in the book was Marvin, the hilariously depressing robot which in the movie was just ...well ...depressing and didn't even get a chuckle out of me. Mildly entertained and slightly amused but I expected a whole lot more.
Honeymoon [2014]

            
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A newlywed couple goes to the bride's childhood cabin for their honeymoon. After sleepwalking one night, the bride becomes increasingly disoriented and things start falling apart. The couple was likable and genuine which was the reason I stuck with it as it is also extremely slow paced. I know some will like the insidious slow-burn nature of the film but I was getting impatient. Then it got really strange and ultimately very downbeat without enough of a reveal to make it fully work for me. Interesting, some good stuff, but...
The Hidden Room [1949]
aka Obsession
            
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A psychiatrist plans to commit an elaborate, perfect murder against his wife's lover. This was a pretty good examination of obsession and the arrogance of a higher intelligence, who thinks he has all the answers, and a Scotland Yard Inspector who reminds him that all murderers are amateurs and the inspectors are the professionals when it comes to killing. And what about the guy locked up in a room? ...and the dog? Entertaining and quite a joy for a film that's 75+ years old.
Homefront [2013]

            
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An ex-Interpol agent and his daughter move to a Louisiana town. An altercation between a bully and his daughter escalates into a full blown war ...and the members of a motorcycle gang from the agent's past is showing up. Excellent, high-action film with Jason Statham doing what he does best. Excellent editing and superbly choreographed fight scenes. Izabela Vidovic was great as the daughter, as well, and John Franco was great as a mildly psychotic killer. Very exciting film.
The Hidden II [1993]

         

Taking place 15 years after the events in the first film, the evil alien has spawned and a new hero has come to save the day. Well, here's the thing. The original was one of the best high-octane, alien monster movies in the 80's with cars, guns and rock 'n roll that simply doesn't stop. Then someone thought it would be a good idea to spend a fraction of the budget on a sequel with a few amateur actors and throw in a couple fight scenes and everything would be ok. Pfffftttt!!!! The trailer is so blatantly misrepresentative, it's hysterical! ...and much better than the movie.
The Horde [2009]
aka La horde
            
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A gang of cops seeking retribution raid a building to take out a gang of drug dealers ...just as the zombie apocalypse breaks out. This dead serious (pardon the pun) and brutally savage French film highlights the social dynamics of two groups, who would love to shoot each other on sight, coming together to survive. Easily the most visceral zombie film I've ever seen ...the walls are literally dripping with blood. Holy cow, this film is violent!!! Watch French with Eng Subtitles ...English dubbing is not done very well and sounds totally out-of-place.
The Hills Have Eyes [1977]

            
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A family's vehicle breaks down in the middle of the Nevada desert and leaves them unknowingly surrounded by cannibals. This gore horror cult classic, brought to us by one of the masters, Wes Craven (The Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street) is brutal, sadistic and, oddly, humorous in a tongue-in-cheek sorta way. Colorful and grotesque characters, strangely plausible albeit weird and ridiculous scenarios and some exceptionally good quotable lines. Still a favorite after 45 years.
The Hills Have Eyes Part II [1984]

         
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This time, it's a bus load of young folks heading to a bike competition that gets stuck in the desert. It amazes me how Wes Craven could make such a classic cult horror film with the original and then follow it up with an absolutely awful sequel. This is simply horrendous. Not a single likable character, everyone is a total moron that makes completely ludicrous decisions. In fact, that's the only reason the 2 (yes, only 2) cannibals have any success as they're too damn stupid to be threatening. A totally amateur effort. I've seen better home movies.
The Hills Have Eyes [2006]

         

A case of someone making the mistake of trying to reboot a classic and actually making a superior film. See my review of the original if you want to know what it's about as this movie is exactly the same practically scene for scene, only better, right up to the trailer attack. Then the film goes into new territory that is grossly entertaining (pun intended) with incredibly colorful and grotesque mutants, violently brutal yet creative savagery and a relentlessness that doesn't let up. And they still maintained a level of humor. Bravo!
The Hills Have Eyes II [2007]

            

A group of National Guardsmen trainees head into the desert to supply a scientific outpost and meet the cannibals in the hills. If you have any hope of enjoying this, please check your brain at the door. That way you won't feel like your intelligence is being insulted by those on the screen who obviously don't have any. Instead of keeping it's brutality in context, like the previous film, this one (including the revolting and unnecessary opening scene) is gratuitously vile and in-your-face disgusting. Overall, average shlock shock film. Nothing more.
Holidays [2016]

            

An anthology horror film with each story centered around a particular holiday. Lots of vignettes in this one as they were all short and sweet. Some were pretty simple and straight forward. Others were seriously twisted and freakish. It has a few really choice moments (that Jesus bunny is pure nightmare fuel), is darkly humorous, occasionally cringe worthy and, overall, pretty good ...not great but very entertaining.
Horns [2013]

         
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A young man, that everyone suspects killed the love of his life, begins growing horns and can suddenly manipulate people. This was a simple and original story that was well told. However, I had a really hard time grasping the subtleties of what's going on here and the movie could have been vastly improved if it was at least 30 mins shorter. It was interesting and I could see where a lot of people would really like this movie but, sorry... I just found it mildly interesting.
Hitman [2007]

         

Raised from a child to be an assassin, agent 47 has been assigned to kill a Russian politician running for Premiere, when he realizes he's been set up. This was the perfect role for Timothy Olyphant as he brings a stoic but likable personality to a killing machine that is virtually unstoppable. Excellent story, great action in both gun fights and martial arts and a very interesting relationship between the hitman and a girl he gets saddled with. Very fun ...despite Rotten Tomatoes' obvious dislike.
Hitman: Agent 47 [2015]

            

Agent 47 is trying to find the daughter of the creator of the organization that developed the agents before the syndicate finds her first. This is basically a reboot or standalone film as the only thing it has in common with the first film is the main character ...this time portrayed competently by Rupert Friend ...albeit a bit more robotic than Olyphant's performance. The action is spectacular despite the obvious moments of CGI and the story was good enough to keep me fully engaged. Really good, escapist fun, if that's all you're looking for.
Horror Planet [1981]
aka Inseminoid
            
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A scientific mission to an alien planet, to determine what happened to the previous population, results in a woman being impregnated by an alien and becoming totally insane. If you go into this film knowing that it's ultra-low-budget, incredibly silly and ridiculous, with some of the most laughable fight scenes ever (they obviously couldn't afford experienced stunt doubles) complete with some totally moronic decision making, you'll probably find this to be somewhat amusing. I did.
The Horde [2012]
aka Orda
            

A fictionalized account in the history of the Golden Horde in Russia around the 14th century about a holy man attempting to stop an attack on Moscow by curing the blindness of the Tartar Queen. In fact, that's practically all this movie is about. There's no action, no warfare and hardly any politics. The movie takes over 2 hours to tell a half hour story and concentrates almost exclusively on how much this holy man suffers until the Queen regains her sight. Very historically authentic visually but that's all its got going for it.
High Crimes [2002]

         

A man is arrested for war crimes he insists he did not commit. His wife chooses to defend him in military court and begins to unravel a conspiracy. This is a pretty standard legal thriller with a lot of unrealistic threatening of the lawyers to add suspense and tension. Think about it ...why would you do that? Be that as it may, it had a pretty good twist and overall, quite enjoyable as long as it's taken with a grain of salt. Ashley Judd, Morgan Freeman and Jim Caviezel all did exceptionally well.
A History of Violence [2005]

            

After protecting his customers by killing a couple of serial killers, the owner of a small town cafe is proclaimed a hero. This attracts a gangster who swears the man is a former associate and killer. Moving along at a slow and steady pace, the film does an excellent job of keeping you questioning whether he is a former assassin or simply the wrong guy. The relationships are honest, personal, and painful and the build up to the climactic end is well crafted and satisfying. Good film!
The Horde [2016]

            
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Totally cliche horror movie. We have the bloody intro followed by the main group of victims heading to a lake. Interrupt the trip to run into a possibly mentally unstable stranger and throw in a fight scene to show how good our hero is at being an ex-navy seal. 40 mins into the film, we have our first killings within the group ...naturally, it's the couple who were having sex. Our hero must now save them all. It wasn't a particularly bad movie ...it was just so formulaic and unoriginal that I had to laugh.
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